Atelophobia: Fear of not being enough

“If not us, who? If not now, when?”- JFK on why we choose to go to the moon.

Looking at amazing human accomplishments can inspire transformation—or lead to harsh judgements. I want to remind you that beating yourself up doesn’t increase your chances of success. Sounds obvious right?! Yet we get stuck in negative thought patterns; at the root of these thoughts is the “not good enough” dilemma. So here are 6 simple ways to help you remember you are enough and stay motivated! 

6 Ways To Remember You are Enough

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all… do not. When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

“Don’t believe everything you think.” Don’t give your cruel or discouraging thoughts so much power. Many thoughts are lies or negative opinions.  They are not true. Your thoughts are not facts, so allow them to pass by. Have a good laugh at that “bunghole” brain of yours.

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—even just the fact that I’m alive and breathing is pretty fantastic!

4. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next rung on the ladder is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are. Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

5. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments within themselves, regardless of how many times we fail. Instead of berating yourself for making a mistake or tumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have. 

6. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change. You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.

edited by Lauren Ogle, excerpt from Madison Sonnier

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