Fear of missing out
FOMO and the fear of being disliked, or judged can lead us to saying yes to many things we would rather not do.
As for me, I said yes to volunteer on task forces, work committees, birthday parties, showers, bake sales and everything else. And with kids, pets and a household to run it was too much. I was not in control of my days, and felt disappointed at myself for not being able to “do it all.” I was afraid people wouldn’t “like me” if I said no. Sound familiar?
Here are a few tips on how I learned to start saying no, and took back control of my life.
- Slow down. Before replying “Count me in!” Buy yourself sometime by saying “I have to check with someone and get back to you.” Even if that someone is you!
- What’s driving your decision? Are you saying yes to this out of fear or out of love? If you are saying yes only to avoid disappointing the other person, that is not a good enough reason. Will you bring joy and energy to this event/effort or exhaustion and resentment?
- Just say no. Practice saying no and declining invitation with grace and kindness. Without over explaining yourself and without all the “maybes.” Maybe if this happens, then maybe I can come. That isn’t helping anyone.
- Time management skills. We all only have 168 hours in a week. Take an inventory of where yours are going. How much time do you spend ruminating, researching, scrolling news feeds or watching TV? How much time do you spend outdoors, doing things you enjoy? How much time at work and with family?
- Invest in yourself. If things seems out of whack find ways to regain balance. Is there something you can delegate? Can you ask for additional help? How can you reduce time spent worrying or doing unhelpful activities?